Friday, October 5, 2012

Impossible to Swallow, Heart in Throat

This morning I received an e-mail from a mother. Last night her son overdosed.

"Last night I saved my son's life in our bathroom. I'm certainly not the first parent to do so and I won't be the last..........Laying there turning blue lipped and laying in blood from hitting his head on the tile. I can't physically get it out of my head"

How do you get it out of your head? This is the horror of being the parent of an addict. OVERDOSE, what a horrible word!

This is a mother that stole her son back from the monster, at least for that night.

"I believe I first heard of Narcan from your blog or a link from your blog. You indicated you had to use it at some point....  .....Thank you for talking about Narcan. I was able to at least save his life another day for one more day of hope."

Yes, I did write about the time my son was given Narcan because of an overdose.

If you are the parent of an addict, I can't say it enough, EDUCATE, EDUCATE, EDUCATE, yourself. I know with the drama and crisis of addiction this may seem overwhelming but it must be done.

My random rantings and raving on this blog isn't about helping to save a life. My purpose began as trying to help me make sense of an insane situation. Maybe it has turned into something more.

If this mom that wrote me reads this I want you to know that you have made my day today and you have destroyed my day. You ripped your son away from the monster and there is nothing in the world that makes me feel better. The monster is alive and still grabbing our children each day. That reality grabs my heart and destroys my happiness.

13 comments:

Ken Williams said...

Ron, as always, thank you for sharing. For the parents of an addict, hope and horror become their constant companions. One always threatens to extinguish the other, both turn a happy life into a highly unpleasant roller-coaster.

Thank you, and thank you anonymous mom for sharing your horror and your hope.

Bristolvol said...

Oh Ron, how horrible. This is a tragedy that parents of addicts live with every day. So glad you were able to help this mom help her son.

Erin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Annette said...

:o( Ron you are an invaluable resource. I had two divorced parents, I am friends with both, call me separately to ask about their son and his drug use. It was sad that they knew who to call... but if I can be a comfort to another parent, than so be it. You are pay it forward in a huge way with your blog, the information you share, and your talks at area schools.

beachteacher said...

Oh,..this so hurts my heart too. No parent ever set out to go through this very real version of hell. God bless our addict children & help us to live through it.

Anonymous said...

Edit Anonymous said...
I am not the same person I was 3 years ago when learning of our sons addiction. I used to read the blogs quietly and silently. A masked soul ashamed of a dirty secret. I found this first because I searched 'our son addict'
I suddenly felt understood. Like I wasn't the only one. I was saved from the shame and embarrassment and fear

I am not afraid to tell you today that I'm the mom that saved my sons life last night. So, technically, I've given him life twice. Such a gift. I have wondered over the years if there is more I can do to help him on his road to sobriety. Tonight I realize I have done it all. There is nothing more left for me to do. I have given him a home, a car to get to work, believed in him, etc. And thanks to what I learned from this blog, I saved him last night with a Narcan kit. I can now believe I have done everything I can for my son and his addiction. I can do no more. I hope he gets it and I hope he takes the road to sobriety. I will watch from afar and let him know we love him. However, I will never feel guilt for 'not doing enough'

Thank you Ron and fellow bloggers for providing me with this gift of knowledge that saved my son. As we all know very well....where there is life....well we all know the rest...

♥●• İzdihër •●♥ said...

Ron, you are going a great job via blogging. your blog is very helpful for parents whose kids are hooked on monster. I hope it will always be that helpful.

Keep writing.

Meth Addiction-A Mothers Perspective said...

Your blog was the first blog that I found when I first started to realize my son had a serious drug problem. I believe that was no accident, but divine intervention. I felt so lost and helpless at the time. I clung to your words like a life preserver in the middle of the worst storm of my life. Whether you started your blog to help others or not, I don't think you will ever know how many lives you have touched. You have gained much wisdom in your journey. A journey none of us asked for- not the addicts or the people who love them. Thank you for sharing.

Gledwood said...

Do they give out narcan shots to take home and keep in the fridge? Here (UK) they do. They're mostly given to the users but I'm pretty sure any parent who phoned the methadone clinic and asked for one would get one. It could make all the difference ...

Gledwood said...

(Narcan probably better known as NALOXONE here...)

Tori said...

How sad for the Mother and her son. How lucky that she was able to save his life. I pray that he takes this chance and gets help. I know for an addict it is just so hard.

I have never wanted to be in this little club, but finding other POA's has given me so much strength in dealing with addiction.

Seastar720 said...

Ron, thank you for your blogs. Your blog was the first one I came across when searching for help for my son and our family. I have learned a lot. To the mother that saved her son, I feel your pain. In August, we found our son on the bathroom floor, purple and not breathing, overdosed from heroin. We were frantic, screaming, crying while trying to perform CPR. We did not know he was a heroin user. Our lives are changed now. He told us he was depressed and tried Percs, which was bad enough. I, too, am having a very hard time getting the image out of my head - of my son being purple and not breathing and almost dying. We were told if we did not find him, he surely would have died. He was in rehab for 30 days and is now in IOP and for that I am grateful. He seems committed to the recovery. But now I am left with the shock and fear that I can't get past. I am going to Naranon meetings and reading a lot so I am hoping that will ease my fears and lessen the pain.

Anonymous said...

Seastar720- I understand your shock and fear. We are still reeling from the scene and probably will for the rest of our lives

I always said our son would not die under our roof. God did it come close. And opening that door was our first knowledge of heroin vs oxy snorting. But what is the difference really?

I wonder how I can ever let our soon USE our bathroom again? How did we get here? Will it be his wake up call?

So many questions but at least we have each other and other parents to lean on each other. We are part if a much larger group than we should be huh?