Thursday, June 10, 2010

Relaxed

Our son moved back into our home. He and his girlfriend had to give up their apartment so they both went back to their respective parents.

I can tell you it wasn't something he did with excitement and to be fair we weren't excited either. But sometimes you do what you have to because you have too. Plus, our son had a job but no transportation. For a couple months he has been bumming rides to get to work. When he was really stuck he would call his sister or his mother. That was nearly a 60 mile round trip for us to take him to work and then another 60 miles if he couldn't find a way home. Oh the endless joy of living in the country. But truth is we knew work was a good thing for him so this sacrifice was minor in comparison to what we had been through in the past with him.

Finally, I got to where I didn't like everyone having to drive him around so far so I bought him a $1000 beater car. A small price to get my wife back in the evenings so we can relax together.

Today was the day to get the car licensed. We started the day off with a drug test, he passed. He told me go ahead test anytime. Funny thing, he took a picture of the test results, sent them to his sisters and his girlfriend. Said he hasn't had many that looked like that so he was going to make sure everyone saw it. Took him to get his paycheck, he paid for his insurance and then it was off to get the license plate. He was so proud to have that plate. It was actually something he paid for and was his own to go and physically put on his own car.

He seems to have goals now which is something I haven't seen in him for many years. My fingers are crossed but my eyes are open. I am a firm believer nothing good will ever happen in all of this without having goals. But that is kind of one of my life motto's, without goals life is just something that happens to you not because of you.

15 comments:

Em said...

I'm so glad to hear that things are going well for you and your son :)

Jake's Mom said...

Best of luck to you and mom with your son back home...I think I know how ya'll feel. I love being around my son when he's doing good but still the thought of him living with me again sends a panic straight through me. I pray that there is peace in your home and that things continue to progress in the right direction as they appear to be doing at the moment.
Kristi

CC (Mumsicles) said...

I am sure I would do the same. I hope it goes well. "One day at a time", right?

Syd said...

I too believe in goals. I also know that there are many alcoholics/addicts who have no idea how to formulate a goal or carry it out. It is truly a one day at a time thing for each of us as we navigate life.

Heather's Mom said...

All's good! So glad to hear positive news. And you know what? There's some jealousy here on my part! A is clean, talking to you, and home. So glad you are taking the time to enjoy and acknowledge his successes :) Thanks for sharing the "progress report"!
God bless.

Barbara said...

COOL! I love that he took a pic of his test :)

It may not be an ideal situation but if he's working and staying clean....

Dad and Mom said...

Even with everything..................today is only today

Jan said...

Even if it is just for today, relish in the ability to relax and celebrate this success! Praying it continues!

Debby of Oxycontin and Opiate Addiction: A Mother's Story said...

Ron, in a strange way I'm glad he's home with you. I've followed Alex's relapse and I was so sorry. I bought a new car, and traded in my son's clunker. I gave him my old one, and I feel good about it. He has two jobs and needs wheels. You did the right thing. I hope Alex stays clean. It's hard, but bottom line, we love our kid-- addict or not. All we can do is take it one day at a time, but I hope this is a turning point for him. You sound much calmer than I've read in a long time.
sorry I've been scarce, but I'm laying low.
Blessings,
Debby

Bristolvol said...

Glad all is well even just for today. We have to go through so many trials an errors and just hope for the best. Try to keep your expectations low and will only get pleasant surprises!

BMelonsLemonade said...

This is good! It is a long and sometimes arduous process for us all. I have been clean for over four years, and sometimes I still have have tinges of that inner struggle. I am just thankful that my life has finally gotten to be so good, that I would not trade it to go back to any place I was...if even just for a look around. The path to get where I am now was sometimes rocky, and sometimes it was rainy, and sometimes it was windy...but it was also often bright and sunny. Once I began to take my life seriously again, my parents have not left my side and have been my number one fans. It has taken a long, long time to earn that trust back. And in my sobriety, I see that I am lucky they trust me already. A driving force in my success is my family. I will never let my parents down again, and I am just so thankful to have their full trust and support again. It is a long and sometimes ardous walk, but it is worth it all.

Pat N. said...

Well, good luck.

We have learned one rule that will never be broken again; We will never allow the disease to move back into our home.

We have just never seen that work unless, of course, the child has a sincere desire for recovery, a "honest" willingness. However, even then, it's probaly best they work their program outside the family home.

Just my experience/personal opinion.

parentofanaddictcdcb said...

Glad to hear that everything is going well for all of you. Praying that it continues.
Carolyn

Gledwood said...

I hope things work out well all round.

We have learned one rule that will never be broken again; We will never allow the disease to move back into our home.


Pat N: You are talking about your own child!

Pat N. said...

Gledwood,

Yes, I was talking about my own child. Thais why I said, "Just my experience/personal opinion!"