The Partnership at Drugfree.org has published another one of my essays. This one is not just a repost of something I put on the blog.
My Sons Drug Addiction, What I Learned About Myself
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Negotiating Recovery
We've all done it. Seldom, if ever does it work. We make deals, we are willing to sell our soul, our dignity and our future to an addict in an effort to stop the madness.
My efforts to negotiate recovery involved buying things, providing gifts, paying for medical treatment, rehab and rents. All this in a fruitless attempt to bargain away the addiction from my son. This all happens while we enable our addicts and deny the reality.
Then we begin to get smarter about enabling and stop wasting our treasures. But all that does is lead us to a new phase of negotiating. We begin negotiating with our self. We whisper inside that if I see this and this and that then I can do this and this and that.
How do you negotiate with an addict that has no sense of justice or fair play? How can you negotiate with an addict that suffers from a disease that results in behaviors a sane person would deem insane? An addict will not and cannot negotiate away their addiction. As long as you indulge in negotiating with addiction you have everything to lose and there is nothing to gain.
So what's the answer? You must live in the world of a reality that involves seeing the picture as it is not how you want it to be. Stepping back and taking in the holistic nature of this disease and how it not only affects the addict but all those that they touch is the first step. From that place I was able to see that negotiating was hopeless. Then it came down to figuring out where I actually stood in relationship to the disease and my relationship with my addict.
At that point I began to understand what boundaries meant. At that point there is no negotiating. The only thing left is deciding where you can go and where you cannot go.
My efforts to negotiate recovery involved buying things, providing gifts, paying for medical treatment, rehab and rents. All this in a fruitless attempt to bargain away the addiction from my son. This all happens while we enable our addicts and deny the reality.
Then we begin to get smarter about enabling and stop wasting our treasures. But all that does is lead us to a new phase of negotiating. We begin negotiating with our self. We whisper inside that if I see this and this and that then I can do this and this and that.
How do you negotiate with an addict that has no sense of justice or fair play? How can you negotiate with an addict that suffers from a disease that results in behaviors a sane person would deem insane? An addict will not and cannot negotiate away their addiction. As long as you indulge in negotiating with addiction you have everything to lose and there is nothing to gain.
So what's the answer? You must live in the world of a reality that involves seeing the picture as it is not how you want it to be. Stepping back and taking in the holistic nature of this disease and how it not only affects the addict but all those that they touch is the first step. From that place I was able to see that negotiating was hopeless. Then it came down to figuring out where I actually stood in relationship to the disease and my relationship with my addict.
At that point I began to understand what boundaries meant. At that point there is no negotiating. The only thing left is deciding where you can go and where you cannot go.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
A New Moniker
No matter what my son has been called in the past by me or anyone else. The reputation, the names and the past actions mean nothing today because today he is saddled with a new moniker that will be with him the rest of his life, Daddy.
Tyler Alexander Grover
5:38 pm 8/19/11
7 lbs 1 oz
19''
Don't they both look good.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
You Are Not Alone
The Partnership at Drugfree.org has launched a new program. It is called "You Are Not Alone".
It is parents talking directly to parents in short video clips. If you are interested you can check it out here:
I've done one video but I promised them I would do more when I get the time. It isn't easy. I can stand in front of people and speak naturally all day but as soon as that red light came on the video camera it was if a gun was pointed at my head. I'll have to work on my delivery.
It is parents talking directly to parents in short video clips. If you are interested you can check it out here:
I've done one video but I promised them I would do more when I get the time. It isn't easy. I can stand in front of people and speak naturally all day but as soon as that red light came on the video camera it was if a gun was pointed at my head. I'll have to work on my delivery.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Recovery Doesn't Mean Perfect
This post isn't about any specific action or thing. This is simply a reminder to myself and others that recovery doesn't mean perfect.
It's important that I think of my son and treat him as a human being, not a special case of someone in a weird place called "recovery". Human beings work, play, think, have dreams, wants and are free to do whatever they believe is important to succeed financially and spiritually. A person in recovery is free to live that life and it is important that I recognize that fact. A person in recovery must also be free to make mistakes and experience hardship just as the rest of us do each day. Without the freedom to live learn grow and make mistakes there can be no growth.
Through fear, past experience or whatever it is not fair for me to put unrealistic expectations on my son just because I fear the past so much. Unrealistic expectations not only hurt me they hurt everyone around me. I must not walk lightly around my son and I must not expect perfection. He deserves to be treated and loved just the same as my other children. Each of them are different and have different needs based upon their own lives.
The past is past, I will get better as learn to allow the past to be in the past.
It's important that I think of my son and treat him as a human being, not a special case of someone in a weird place called "recovery". Human beings work, play, think, have dreams, wants and are free to do whatever they believe is important to succeed financially and spiritually. A person in recovery is free to live that life and it is important that I recognize that fact. A person in recovery must also be free to make mistakes and experience hardship just as the rest of us do each day. Without the freedom to live learn grow and make mistakes there can be no growth.
Through fear, past experience or whatever it is not fair for me to put unrealistic expectations on my son just because I fear the past so much. Unrealistic expectations not only hurt me they hurt everyone around me. I must not walk lightly around my son and I must not expect perfection. He deserves to be treated and loved just the same as my other children. Each of them are different and have different needs based upon their own lives.
The past is past, I will get better as learn to allow the past to be in the past.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Another Addict In Recovery
Here is another addict in recovery writing to help themselves and others. She has just started blogging.
Genrxation
Genrxation
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Is It A Matter of Public Relations or Education?
This entry is about our children that die from addiction. Too many parents lose children from addiction and it is tragic, the pain affects us all but nothing like the parent that suddenly finds a hole in their life that will never be filled.
In our area we have had a number of teens die from automobile accidents, it is tragic. They make an error in judgement or do something stupid and the consequences are fatal. We see it here all the time, speeding, bumper tag, inattentive driving and yes, driving while intoxicated. Another parent loses a child. There are memorials, candlelight ceremonies, an outpouring of grief from the community. All in an effort to ease the grief and comfort all who are hurting.
We have also had young people in our community die from addiction. All is quiet. The family and friends suffer in silence.
We have all heard the comments whispered, just another addict. If they hadn't been doing drugs it wouldn't have happened. That's what you get doing drugs. But, no matter this was a child loved by parents and family. This was a child that did the same thing as the child that dies accidentally in a crash or accident. They made a mistake in which they could not recover.
I have come to believe until addiction comes out from the darkness and we recognize it for what it is our children that have made the mistake of using and becoming addicted there will always be a devaluation of a person suffering from addiction.
There is too much pain in this disease, why do we make it worse?
In our area we have had a number of teens die from automobile accidents, it is tragic. They make an error in judgement or do something stupid and the consequences are fatal. We see it here all the time, speeding, bumper tag, inattentive driving and yes, driving while intoxicated. Another parent loses a child. There are memorials, candlelight ceremonies, an outpouring of grief from the community. All in an effort to ease the grief and comfort all who are hurting.
We have also had young people in our community die from addiction. All is quiet. The family and friends suffer in silence.
We have all heard the comments whispered, just another addict. If they hadn't been doing drugs it wouldn't have happened. That's what you get doing drugs. But, no matter this was a child loved by parents and family. This was a child that did the same thing as the child that dies accidentally in a crash or accident. They made a mistake in which they could not recover.
I have come to believe until addiction comes out from the darkness and we recognize it for what it is our children that have made the mistake of using and becoming addicted there will always be a devaluation of a person suffering from addiction.
There is too much pain in this disease, why do we make it worse?
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Recovery and Me Blog
Here is a link to a young woman with a young daughter working on her recovery. She has just started the blog and her few postings so are very insightful, raw and enlightening for me as a parent of an addict in recovery. Her story of getting busted and time in jail and prison is worth a read for any parent going through the pain. It's worth visiting. Please support her, plus her hometown of Warrensburg, MO is not that far from me.
Recovery and Me!
Recovery and Me!
Contest Results
A few months ago I posted about SAMSHA contest for young people to make a short PSA video about substance abuse for national distribution. http://parentsofanaddict.blogspot.com/2011/02/psa-contest.html
I just got an e-mail from Tracy Farmer with a link to the winning video:
"I Am More Than Meets The Eye"
For anyone that is interested in the 2012 contest here is a link to a video with information.
http://challenge.gov/challenges/128
I just got an e-mail from Tracy Farmer with a link to the winning video:
"I Am More Than Meets The Eye"
For anyone that is interested in the 2012 contest here is a link to a video with information.
http://challenge.gov/challenges/128
Sunday, July 24, 2011
A Dead End Road?
We just got back from the lake. My brother has a place on Table Rock Lake and we went there with the family for a few days. While we were there Mom and I celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary. Nothing special just a day together.
While we were out of touch I saw that Amy Winehouse died. I don't know for sure but I assume from the circumstances it was from an overdose. Unfortunately this is the end of the road for some addicts. Never able to find the ability to seek or maintain a life of sobriety. The illness has too great of a hold.
But, this is not the road for all addicts. Whether her death makes a difference to anyone else we will never know but the truth is every single day thousands of addicts and alcoholics across the globe give up their using drugs or drinking. This is not a miracle this is just the way this disease works. All we can really hope for is that the addict in your life lives to see their day. Unfortunately Ms. Winehouse's parents doesn't get to see their daughter reach that day, but that doesn't mean your son or daughter won't.
Mom and I are lucky, Alex lived to see his day. He was one of thousands that made that step a year ago. Truthfully, we thought it was touch and go for a while but he did live to see his day. In fact I look back on what I told an emergency room doctor a few years ago when he gave my son less than 50/50 chance of living through the surgery he urgently needed. I told the doc in the emergency room prepping him it was our job to keep him alive today because every day thousands of people quit and Alex just hasn't reached his day yet. The doc stopped working for a second, looked at me took a deep breath and worked harder. Later the doctor told me he had never heard it put that way.
For those parents with kids struggling through this, no matter if they are 14 or 60 we all hope they reach their special day. The day they see the light of a profound experience.
It's difficult to describe how good it feels with Alex today and nearly impossible to describe how bad it was a year ago. Hold on to hope, take care of yourself and do what you can to support recovery when that day comes. Until then, where there is life there is hope.
While we were out of touch I saw that Amy Winehouse died. I don't know for sure but I assume from the circumstances it was from an overdose. Unfortunately this is the end of the road for some addicts. Never able to find the ability to seek or maintain a life of sobriety. The illness has too great of a hold.
But, this is not the road for all addicts. Whether her death makes a difference to anyone else we will never know but the truth is every single day thousands of addicts and alcoholics across the globe give up their using drugs or drinking. This is not a miracle this is just the way this disease works. All we can really hope for is that the addict in your life lives to see their day. Unfortunately Ms. Winehouse's parents doesn't get to see their daughter reach that day, but that doesn't mean your son or daughter won't.
Mom and I are lucky, Alex lived to see his day. He was one of thousands that made that step a year ago. Truthfully, we thought it was touch and go for a while but he did live to see his day. In fact I look back on what I told an emergency room doctor a few years ago when he gave my son less than 50/50 chance of living through the surgery he urgently needed. I told the doc in the emergency room prepping him it was our job to keep him alive today because every day thousands of people quit and Alex just hasn't reached his day yet. The doc stopped working for a second, looked at me took a deep breath and worked harder. Later the doctor told me he had never heard it put that way.
For those parents with kids struggling through this, no matter if they are 14 or 60 we all hope they reach their special day. The day they see the light of a profound experience.
It's difficult to describe how good it feels with Alex today and nearly impossible to describe how bad it was a year ago. Hold on to hope, take care of yourself and do what you can to support recovery when that day comes. Until then, where there is life there is hope.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Still Work To Be Done On......ME!
It's been about 3 hours now and it's taken this long to finally getting into rhythm here at the office.
Upon arriving at the office this morning I had a text from an associate in the plant. His message was that another associate, who I had just hired on Thursday would not be at work this week due to a family emergency. The new associates name is Alex.
When I saw that message I knew of no family emergency on my side of the family. Of course we are expecting a new grandson in a month, we all know babies keep their own schedule. I text my Alex, no response. I called my Alex no response. I called his mother and she got no responses form text or voice. Of course internal panic begins to grip us. We can see bad places in our minds but we are doing our best not to go there.
A co-worker asks me, "What's wrong?"
As I relate the story I am reminded by him of the new guy hired on Thursday, whose name is also Alex. My Alex is out there on the laminator where he is suppose to be on a Monday morning for work. Of course he doesn't answer our texts or phone calls, he is working.
Maybe it takes longer for you to naturally go to good places in your mind than it does to make a leap to the bad places.
Upon arriving at the office this morning I had a text from an associate in the plant. His message was that another associate, who I had just hired on Thursday would not be at work this week due to a family emergency. The new associates name is Alex.
When I saw that message I knew of no family emergency on my side of the family. Of course we are expecting a new grandson in a month, we all know babies keep their own schedule. I text my Alex, no response. I called my Alex no response. I called his mother and she got no responses form text or voice. Of course internal panic begins to grip us. We can see bad places in our minds but we are doing our best not to go there.
A co-worker asks me, "What's wrong?"
As I relate the story I am reminded by him of the new guy hired on Thursday, whose name is also Alex. My Alex is out there on the laminator where he is suppose to be on a Monday morning for work. Of course he doesn't answer our texts or phone calls, he is working.
Maybe it takes longer for you to naturally go to good places in your mind than it does to make a leap to the bad places.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Recovery
Some of us have children now in recovery. Some are still watching the tumble and dealing with their struggle. Fortunately, here in our home we are in the first group.
After struggling for so many years it sometimes seems strange to not be dealing with the constant crisis and drama associated with addiction. However, the new normal presents its own challenges, just as life always has a way to keep each of us grounded. I guess the real question is, "What is normal?"
Even without the addiction crisis and drama it is important for me to stop at times and consciously think about what I am doing and what impact my actions have on others, personally and globally.
What are you doing in your recovery? No matter if you child is active or clean, what are you doing to improve your life and what do you believe/hope is the effect on those that you touch?
- We are re-introducing ourselves to our son and learning about him. Showing him despite all of everything in the past it is just that, past. Forgiven, but not forgotten. It moves no one forward to re-live past pains and experiences so those feelings are now put on a shelf. Acceptance is a lesson I have learned. Accept today for it's own joys.
- Give without expectation. Giving provides its own reward. Giving heals more inside of you than any medicine or therapy ever could.
- Model behavior that is congruent with your own values and beliefs. I don't know what our son believes now or what he remembers about the life lessons he was taught as he was growing up. Actions speak much louder than words, I try not to miss opportunities to demonstrate in life how I want to live based upon my own values. This is most important for me, keeps me conscious of what I am doing or not doing in my life and the effect it has on others.
- Express appreciation. We need to tell people thank you. Family, friends and acquaintances stood by us and held us up so many years. They should hear how much we appreciate them shouldering our load when we needed help. That includes every one of you out there reading or commenting on this blog. Thank You All.
These are just a few reflections on my recovery. I'd love to hear from anyone about things you do.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Fourth of July
Much better this year. No rain. No power outage. No plugged toilet. No water running down the hallway ruining the floor. no water dripping into the basement.
This year we had fun, no one "overindulged" and I think everyone had fun. Lot's of big booms and bright lights in the sky. Plus, son-in-laws, and nephews used their "special firecrackers" on one of my trees. There were splinters 30' away.
This year we had fun, no one "overindulged" and I think everyone had fun. Lot's of big booms and bright lights in the sky. Plus, son-in-laws, and nephews used their "special firecrackers" on one of my trees. There were splinters 30' away.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Remembering Last Year
As everyone is preparing for their Independence Day celebrations on Monday the 4th it makes me think about last years events at our house. (a reserved chuckle here)
http://parentsofanaddict.blogspot.com/2010/07/recovering-from-4th-of-july.html
We are hoping for no repeat of last year.
http://parentsofanaddict.blogspot.com/2010/07/recovering-from-4th-of-july.html
We are hoping for no repeat of last year.
Monday, June 27, 2011
The Art of the Scam
I just finished visiting my mother. Physically she seems pretty good but the Alzheimer's is taking its toll on her. Sometimes she seems pretty good and decent and other days it is very confusing.
On the way home we stopped at the Quik Trip for gas. We were in Darlene's car and she was empty so I thought it better to fill her up tonight rather than her stopping on the way to work early tomorrow morning. I pulled into the pump and got out and was about to slide in my card and a Ranger pickup, kind of trashed, pulled in beside me and before I could finish sliding my car he didn't even get out of his truck he began his spiel. I don't know if he targeted me or not, we were in mom's Lexus so it probably didn't hurt.
His line was he was from Joplin, MO. In case you don't remember Joplin was the Missouri town almost destroyed by a tornado about a month ago. He told me that his alternator was out on his truck and he needed $7 to have enough money to get a new one and get home. I looked close for a minute at his truck then all of a sudden a guy at the pump right behind me that had heard the story ran up and handed this guy $30, a 20 and 10. Of course the thank you and bless you came pouring out of that truck. I looked closer he had said the alternator was out and his truck was about to die. Funny when I looked he had his foot on the brake and his brake lights were shining very bright. As soon as the guy that gave him the money turned his back to go bad to his truck the scammer turned the key and the starter spun like new. I'm not a mechanic but I have repaired my share of cars before and built my share of hot rods when I was a teenager. If the alternator was out and the truck was about to die then the battery would be the sole source of electrical power and at night when driving would kill that battery quick. No lights would burn brightly and no starter would spin like a top with a battery being drained from no alternator to recharge the battery. THIS GUY WAS SCAMMING!
I got back in the car when I finished filling up with gas and mom ask, "What did that guy want?" I relayed the story and her first response was, "Obviously that other guy had no experience dealing with an addict." She then wondered, "Why $7." We just figured that was probably pretty close to what a hit costs.
Our feeling then was how that guy was using the tragedy of all those poor people in Joplin that had lost everything they had and this guy was using their tragedy to soil their name and plight. But we know the story of what a scammer or addict will do to the generosity and kind heart of others.
On the way home we stopped at the Quik Trip for gas. We were in Darlene's car and she was empty so I thought it better to fill her up tonight rather than her stopping on the way to work early tomorrow morning. I pulled into the pump and got out and was about to slide in my card and a Ranger pickup, kind of trashed, pulled in beside me and before I could finish sliding my car he didn't even get out of his truck he began his spiel. I don't know if he targeted me or not, we were in mom's Lexus so it probably didn't hurt.
His line was he was from Joplin, MO. In case you don't remember Joplin was the Missouri town almost destroyed by a tornado about a month ago. He told me that his alternator was out on his truck and he needed $7 to have enough money to get a new one and get home. I looked close for a minute at his truck then all of a sudden a guy at the pump right behind me that had heard the story ran up and handed this guy $30, a 20 and 10. Of course the thank you and bless you came pouring out of that truck. I looked closer he had said the alternator was out and his truck was about to die. Funny when I looked he had his foot on the brake and his brake lights were shining very bright. As soon as the guy that gave him the money turned his back to go bad to his truck the scammer turned the key and the starter spun like new. I'm not a mechanic but I have repaired my share of cars before and built my share of hot rods when I was a teenager. If the alternator was out and the truck was about to die then the battery would be the sole source of electrical power and at night when driving would kill that battery quick. No lights would burn brightly and no starter would spin like a top with a battery being drained from no alternator to recharge the battery. THIS GUY WAS SCAMMING!
I got back in the car when I finished filling up with gas and mom ask, "What did that guy want?" I relayed the story and her first response was, "Obviously that other guy had no experience dealing with an addict." She then wondered, "Why $7." We just figured that was probably pretty close to what a hit costs.
Our feeling then was how that guy was using the tragedy of all those poor people in Joplin that had lost everything they had and this guy was using their tragedy to soil their name and plight. But we know the story of what a scammer or addict will do to the generosity and kind heart of others.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Parent Help Line
The Partnership at Drugfree.org is just beginning a new feature. It hasn't been officially introduced on their site yet but I have been ask to make some info available to anyone that needs to speak to someone about their situation.
The service is a confidential Parent Help Line where you can call toll free to ask questions about drugs, alcohol, addiction and any situations you don't know how to handle; or just need to talk with a professional about some situation involving drugs or alcohol.
The service is a confidential Parent Help Line where you can call toll free to ask questions about drugs, alcohol, addiction and any situations you don't know how to handle; or just need to talk with a professional about some situation involving drugs or alcohol.
PARENTS HELPLINE
1-855-DRUGFREE 855-378-4373
Monday, June 20, 2011
Clean on Father's Day
Want to see what clean and sober looks like on Father's Day,
and a granddaughter, too.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Father's Day Coming Around, again
WOW, it's been a while since I last posted anything and I can remember so well not too long ago there was a need inside me to write sometimes twice a day. I guess we are getting better here.
I have to believe for many, or at least for me, Father's Day is somewhat bittersweet. As a few people reading this may know my father died 30 years ago. So it isn't like I can say all the things I want to say or missed saying due to youthful inexperience in life. It just comes down to processing the learning and experience in my own way. Out of that I try to live a life of honor that respects not only my life but honors his legacy.
Out of my own experiences this father's day I am not dealing with or overly concerned about a crisis or emergency interrupting my day in fellowship with my family this Sunday. (maybe fools confidence)
However, my thoughts this year are not so reflective upon my own father and the lessons learned or missed but upon what does it mean to be a father. Wish I could share all the wisdom one needs to be a good father but I am still figuring that out. I'm not sure I'll get that equation right before I die but I'm working on it and I'm sure there is not one true answer to the equation either. All I can do is the best I can.
So for now all of us fathers can sit back on Sunday and enjoy our "designated" day. Meat on a blazing grill, we stand at the ready with a spatula in our hand and a smile on our face we can be on the top of the world no matter what the circumstances.
The horrors of years past are real. The not knowing if my son would live to another Father's Day can at times drive you to madness or paralyze you in fear. That is real for any parent of an addict but we need to remember it's not just the addict in our life that lives day to day. We all live that way. On no day are we guaranteed that when we see the sun rise that we will see the sun set. Father, mother, brother, sister no matter what you are or who you are it is your day every single day.
I have to believe for many, or at least for me, Father's Day is somewhat bittersweet. As a few people reading this may know my father died 30 years ago. So it isn't like I can say all the things I want to say or missed saying due to youthful inexperience in life. It just comes down to processing the learning and experience in my own way. Out of that I try to live a life of honor that respects not only my life but honors his legacy.
Out of my own experiences this father's day I am not dealing with or overly concerned about a crisis or emergency interrupting my day in fellowship with my family this Sunday. (maybe fools confidence)
However, my thoughts this year are not so reflective upon my own father and the lessons learned or missed but upon what does it mean to be a father. Wish I could share all the wisdom one needs to be a good father but I am still figuring that out. I'm not sure I'll get that equation right before I die but I'm working on it and I'm sure there is not one true answer to the equation either. All I can do is the best I can.
So for now all of us fathers can sit back on Sunday and enjoy our "designated" day. Meat on a blazing grill, we stand at the ready with a spatula in our hand and a smile on our face we can be on the top of the world no matter what the circumstances.
The horrors of years past are real. The not knowing if my son would live to another Father's Day can at times drive you to madness or paralyze you in fear. That is real for any parent of an addict but we need to remember it's not just the addict in our life that lives day to day. We all live that way. On no day are we guaranteed that when we see the sun rise that we will see the sun set. Father, mother, brother, sister no matter what you are or who you are it is your day every single day.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Nothing More Than A Personal Update
Nothing profound here today just a peace and happiness that is growing inside of me that has been gone for so long that I had forgotten about that place.
Alex works hard at work and it is such a point of pride for me to see where he is today. He goes out to lunch with the young guys at work. I don't worry these guys are straight up, I've worked with them for a few years and in fact actually hired them all. Alex seems to fit in perfectly.
He did his weekend in Douglas County last weekend. He went to court in another county on Monday, just got a fine, quite large but he isn't stressing. It seems like the only thing that is a priority for him is being a good dad to his girlfriends daughters and he will proudly show anyone that will look the ultrasound pictures of their baby due in August.
Maybe I shouldn't say something like this but it seems like once I lived in another life. There are memories and nightmares of that time but it truly seems like another lifetime ago. For Mom and I we were hurt badly but the healing for us has been nothing short of a miracle cure. When we let go we all came together.
Alex works hard at work and it is such a point of pride for me to see where he is today. He goes out to lunch with the young guys at work. I don't worry these guys are straight up, I've worked with them for a few years and in fact actually hired them all. Alex seems to fit in perfectly.
He did his weekend in Douglas County last weekend. He went to court in another county on Monday, just got a fine, quite large but he isn't stressing. It seems like the only thing that is a priority for him is being a good dad to his girlfriends daughters and he will proudly show anyone that will look the ultrasound pictures of their baby due in August.
Maybe I shouldn't say something like this but it seems like once I lived in another life. There are memories and nightmares of that time but it truly seems like another lifetime ago. For Mom and I we were hurt badly but the healing for us has been nothing short of a miracle cure. When we let go we all came together.
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