Sunday, August 21, 2016

Mom Has Passed

Yesterday my mom passed away. She was 86 years old and suffering from dementia. 

On August 1st she was moved into a nursing home. It became too hard to take care of a loved one that requires care 24/7. Those are the decisions that are gut wrenching. 

Watching and experiencing the decline causes a person to think about their own future and mortality. How do prepare for a future that may include dementia. Experts say that if your parents suffer from dementia you have a much better chance experiencing the same future. That causes me much consternation. I do not want my children experiencing me as I age backward.

I know it's controversial but if I get to this point take me to the vet and get me a shot. I've owned many dogs and pets in my life that I loved dearly. With each one they did not suffer at the end of their life. It hurts to watch that liquid being injected, but peace is the reward for both of us.

I told Darlene if I get to this point I have a plan. Everyone knows I enjoy hunting at my cousins farm in western Kansas. I told her if I get to that point take me out to the farm. Put me a straddle of a barb wire fence and then shoot me. Leave my gun beside me like it was an accident and walk away. Now every two weeks she asks me if I want to go hunting.

Ina Lucille Grover, age 86 of Kansas City, Kansas passed away peacefully August 20, 2016. She was preceded in death by her husband Ivan Glenn Grover, Mother, Father, and 9 siblings.
She is survived by her 3 children Ron (Darlene) Gigi, and Brian (Anita) Grover, 5 grandchildren and 7 great grandchildren.
Visitation will be Tuesday, 6:00-8:00 PM at the Butler Meyers Funeral Home, 6300 Paralllel Pkwy., Kansas City, KS.
Funeral services, 10:00 A.M., Wednesday August 24, 2016 at the funeral home. Burial Chapel Hill Cemetery.
In lieu of flowers the family suggest memorial contributions to the Alzheimer Association, 3846 W 75th St, Prairie Village, KS 66208

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Busy Year

Just a quick note to my previous post about the father who had a sign in his yard about his daughter. He called me and we talked for a 15-20 minutes and I promised to stop by next time I'm in Sedalia, MO and we would have coffee or something.

It's been a busy year, no big concerns about our son, he is still doing fine.  Alex is working and raising a family, that is enough to keep anyone busy.

A little update on Darlene. Some of you may remember that last year Darlene was diagnosed with breast cancer. She is doing fine. Clear margins and all the surgeries are complete. Early this summer her last doctor visit was completed and she got her nipple tattoos.

During all of this my mother's dementia got progressively worse. Last week we had to put her in a nursing home. So far she is not acclimating to life in her new place. She thinks she is being held hostage in a casino.  I played along and told her they won't let her go until she loses enough money. I know it's not nice to tease an old person but if you aren't laughing you are crying.

She refuses to take her medicine because she believes they are giving her pills to kill her. She is taking her medicine now because I gave the nurse one of the "daily pill" boxes we were using at home and now she thinks I bring the pills in each day because they dump the pills into her hand out of the pill boxes we were using.

The doctor has added some Xanex to her pill mix to get her calmed down. She is pretty drugged up but that is OK with me right now to help her settle down. We can begin adjusting the dosages down as she becomes used to her new place.

The staff and I have been working closely to try and get her settled. It takes a lot more patience than I possess.

The nursing home is very nice with lots of activities and the staff seems very caring and gentle.

It's hard to practise self care when so much is happening but everyone needs to take care of themselves no matter what is going on around you. I've been trying to spend some time at the lake with the kids. That is my way of taking care of myself.