Saturday, May 21, 2016

Pinch Me, Am I Dreaming

Six years ago in May and June of 2010 we were discovering how deep our son's addiction had progressed. We were in shock and after the shock wore off we snapped back to a stark reality. We began discussing what no parent should have to consider. Darlene and I began openly discussing what happens if our son dies.

We began discussing funeral arrangements, we drove through the cemetery down the street looking at open spots. Our heart was broken and we had not given up but we had resigned ourselves to a horrible eventuality.

Our despair was so evident I allowed myself to post about what we expected in July 2010.

Last night we attended the Commencement Exercises at Johnson County Community College. In the Commencement Program this was printed:

Associate of Arts and Science

I know many that read here have loved ones still struggling. I guess the only advice I have is to always look towards tomorrow. No matter how bad it may seem none of us know what will happen tomorrow, we don't even know what will happen the next minute or second.

Never give up, never stop loving and never stop taking care of yourself. People need you and your loved one needs you too if that day comes when they have a profound experience and enter recovery.

Needless to say I am proud of my son. This is just one step. In these six years since 2010 he has bought a house, works a full time job, is a father to three wonderful children and loves a partner as we all wish we could and should. 

Sunday, May 8, 2016

Mother's Day

Last Fathers Day I wrote a message about those that have lost their father as I had so long ago.
Not to ignore those mothers that have lost a child I want to reprint my post here with a couple of edits.
On this Mother's Day there are many that have lost their mothers, some long ago and some not so long ago. While we remember and miss mom's let us not forget there are others with a hole in their heart.
There are many Mother's that have lost their child.
As we remember and miss mothers on this special day let us not forget the pain of those mothers that miss a child.

Monday, May 2, 2016


I've reached that magical age of 60 where I am allowed, or expected to be that crotchety old guy in the neighborhood. Yelling at kids, get of my lawn, turn that down, go someplace else to play.

Not for me.

I have a big yard with no fence. Play in my yard. Throw the ball, mark off a baseball field, ride your bikes, scream, run and play. There are apples, peaches, plums and cherries in the trees. Grapes are on the vines and blueberries are growing in the bushes. You see something you want, eat it. No need to wash it off, fully organic here, wipe it on your shirt. Fly specks and maybe a worm in an apple will not hurt you. The best fruit doesn't come from a shelf in a grocery store. Climb this trees, just be careful and don't fall.

I want to hear the laughter and the fun. It keeps me young. No matter whose kids they are.

There is a much bigger reward in raising kids than raising grass.