Saturday, September 26, 2015

Just When You Think....

Lately it has been a whirlwind of life. Darlene is doing well but in three weeks she has her last surgery, final implants in the reconstruction. Not to be out done I needed a little sympathy, you know us men everything is a competition, I had knee surgery last week and we got to switch roles, Darlene became the caregiver.

Work has been crazy and we are trying to fit in as much time as possible at the lake before cold settles in over the midwest. Of course, trying to see those grandkids takes priority over all, even the surgeries and work. With all of this going on time is a premium.

Last post I wondered, "Where To From Here?" It doesn't take long to get answers to those questions we ask out loud.

Since that time I have been scheduled to speak at two Kansas City area high schools. Anyone that wants to hear my school talks, your are free to join me. Send me an e-mail and I will get you added as my guest. Of course, I always encourage the schools to invite parents to hear my talks to their students.

In addition, I have been ask to speak at the "Johnson County Resort", the same place Alex spent so much time incarcerated while he was actively dancing with the monster. I have been ask to convey a message of hope and that success does and can happen. Another positive is I am being allowed to recruit candidates within the residential program for employment at my work. In my view a solid job with a good steady salary is a must for any recovery program. I am able to offer that component. If we employers, succumb to the stigma of addiction we risk throwing away an entire generation of workers. Generalizations hurt us all.

It was hard, I went to the Johnson County Resort for the first time since we would visit or pick up Alex. Went for a meeting and I had to go to four different doors to get inside. The only door I knew to go to was inmate release door. Who knew, that's not how you get to the administrative offices, LOL. Guess maybe it was PTSD or something. It was hard at times speaking with the administrative staff. More than a couple times my voice cracked and I choked while I talked to the seven administrators.

It's been over five years since the monster actively stalked my family. I hate it that the monster is still destroying families all around me. I have come to realize that I am, and I want to continue to be a warrior in this battle.

Everyone, tell the monster I am not giving up the fight. I am the forever warrior. I will continue the fight any time I am called. This is a battle I must fight, this is a war WE will win.

Sunday, September 6, 2015

Where To From Here?

I still look and read the blogs of my friends that continue to write. The stories continue, some with good news others not so good.

I haven't purposely ignored my blog but there isn't enough to write about that I feel is important enough for you to take your time to read. This blog was the most important piece in my recovery as the parent of an addict. I owe more than I can ever repay to all of you that read and commented.

Today Alex continues to be a good father and son.

Darlene has clear margins and is scheduled for her implant surgery in mid-October.

Darlene's health realigned my mindset. Always before my favorite word was "someday". "Someday we will........" Today my mindset is more like the way of "do the possible today, someday is not guaranteed." It was a very fast turnaround in my mind. I am a planner and goal setter. Three weeks after Darlene's mastectomy we went to the lake to look for a lake house. A lake house was always a "someday" thing. We went to look and that very weekend we bought a house at Lake of the Ozarks. Forty feet from the waters edge, two steps down and you're on the dock. Peace is only 2.5 hours away, door to door.

Water brings me peace. I guess it is in my genes. I have never done the genealogy thing but I do have a copy of a family tree that was passed down generation to generation. It's on very old onion skin type paper. The first entry on the tree is a Grover in 1804. He was from Maine and was a Captain of a ship, lost at sea. I've always said water in in my genes. I am the Captain of a 1993 Mastercraft Prostar 205, that's as far as I get. Sometimes I wonder about the stories behind those names on that tree. Maine to Ohio to Kansas is documented, soldiers in the Civil War are all on this piece of paper. However, this is not a piece of paper it is lives. These lives are me.

Back to my subject, "Where to from here?" I don't know what will become of my blog. I surely do not write as often and the subject matter is certainly not focused on drugs and addiction as it was.

I am not ready to give up this old friend. My essay's may be fewer but I am not abandoning anyone that reads. Feel free to continue to write and comment. I care for you all.