Remembering Last Year

As everyone is preparing for their Independence Day celebrations on Monday the 4th it makes me think about last years events at our house. (a reserved chuckle here)

http://parentsofanaddict.blogspot.com/2010/07/recovering-from-4th-of-july.html

We are hoping for no repeat of last year.

The Art of the Scam

I just finished visiting my mother. Physically she seems pretty good but the Alzheimer's is taking its toll on her. Sometimes she seems pretty good and decent and other days it is very confusing.

On the way home we stopped at the Quik Trip for gas. We were in Darlene's car and she was empty so I thought it better to fill her up tonight rather than her stopping on the way to work early tomorrow morning. I pulled into the pump and got out and was about to slide in my card and a Ranger pickup, kind of trashed, pulled in beside me and before I could finish sliding my car he didn't even get out of his truck he began his spiel. I don't know if he targeted me or not, we were in mom's Lexus so it probably didn't hurt.

His line was he was from Joplin, MO. In case you don't remember Joplin was the Missouri town almost destroyed by a tornado about a month ago. He told me that his alternator was out on his truck and he needed $7 to have enough money to get a new one and get home. I looked close for a minute at his truck then all of a sudden a guy at the pump right behind me that had heard the story ran up and handed this guy $30, a 20 and 10. Of course the thank you and bless you came pouring out of that truck. I looked closer he had said the alternator was out and his truck was about to die. Funny when I looked he had his foot on the brake and his brake lights were shining very bright. As soon as the guy that gave him the money turned his back to go bad to his truck the scammer turned the key and the starter spun like new. I'm not a mechanic but I have repaired my share of cars before and built my share of hot rods when I was a teenager. If the alternator was out and the truck was about to die then the battery would be the sole source of electrical power and at night when driving would kill that battery quick. No lights would burn brightly and no starter would spin like a top with a battery being drained from no alternator to recharge the battery. THIS GUY WAS SCAMMING!

I got back in the car when I finished filling up with gas and mom ask, "What did that guy want?" I relayed the story and her first response was, "Obviously that other guy had no experience dealing with an addict." She then wondered, "Why $7." We just figured that was probably pretty close to what a hit costs.

Our feeling then was how that guy was using the tragedy of all those poor people in Joplin that had lost everything they had and this guy was using their tragedy to soil their name and plight. But we know the story of what a scammer or addict will do to the generosity and kind heart of others.

Parent Help Line

The Partnership at Drugfree.org is just beginning a new feature. It hasn't been officially introduced on their site yet but I have been ask to make some info available to anyone that needs to speak to someone about their situation.

The service is a confidential Parent Help Line where you can call toll free to ask questions about drugs, alcohol, addiction and any situations you don't know how to handle; or just need to talk with a professional about some situation involving drugs or alcohol.

PARENTS HELPLINE

  

1-855-DRUGFREE   855-378-4373

Clean on Father's Day

Want to see what clean and sober looks like on Father's Day,

and a granddaughter, too.

Father's Day Coming Around, again

WOW, it's been a while since I last posted anything and I can remember so well not too long ago there was a need inside me to write sometimes twice a day. I guess we are getting better here.

I have to believe for many, or at least for me, Father's Day is somewhat bittersweet. As a few people reading this may know my father died 30 years ago. So it isn't like I can say all the things I want to say or missed saying due to youthful inexperience in life. It just comes down to processing the learning and experience in my own way. Out of that I try to live a life of honor that respects not only my life but honors his legacy.

Out of my own experiences this father's day I am not dealing with or overly concerned about a crisis or emergency interrupting my day in fellowship with my family this Sunday. (maybe fools confidence)

However, my thoughts this year are not so reflective upon my own father and the lessons learned or missed but upon what does it mean to be a father. Wish I could share all the wisdom one needs to be a good father but I am still figuring that out. I'm not sure I'll get that equation right before I die but I'm working on it and I'm sure there is not one true answer to the equation either. All I can do is the best I can.

So for now all of us fathers can sit back on Sunday and enjoy our "designated" day. Meat on a blazing grill, we stand at the ready with a spatula in our hand and a smile on our face we can be on the top of the world no matter what the circumstances.

The horrors of years past are real. The not knowing if my son would live to another Father's Day can at times drive you to madness or paralyze you in fear. That is real for any parent of an addict but we need to remember it's not just the addict in our life that lives day to day. We all live that way. On no day are we guaranteed that when we see the sun rise that we will see the sun set. Father, mother, brother, sister no matter what you are or who you are it is your day every single day.

Nothing More Than A Personal Update

Nothing profound here today just a peace and happiness that is growing inside of me that has been gone for so long that I had forgotten about that place.

Alex works hard at work and it is such a point of pride for me to see where he is today. He goes out to lunch with the young guys at work. I don't worry these guys are straight up, I've worked with them for a few years and in fact actually hired them all. Alex seems to fit in perfectly.

He did his weekend in Douglas County last weekend. He went to court in another county on Monday, just got a fine, quite large but he isn't stressing. It seems like the only thing that is a priority for him is being a good dad to his girlfriends daughters and he will proudly show anyone that will look the ultrasound pictures of their baby due in August.

Maybe I shouldn't say something like this but it seems like once I lived in another life. There are memories and nightmares of that time but it truly seems like another lifetime ago. For Mom and I we were hurt badly but the healing for us has been nothing short of a miracle cure. When we let go we all came together.